Alternatives to the gym but keep on moving.

I have been sooooo busy and thus soooo slacking on this blog but with everything that been going on i felt that i should take some time to do an entry.  It has been a bad month my mind has just not been with it.  I have alot of shit going on in my head that has just been killing me.  But for all my problems i haven't gained which I'm proud of, Jon and I are both over the century mark which is cool and i think once i get my head clear i should be back on fire.  I spent last week on the Jersey Shore which was awesome but it was a diet killer.  I ate stuff i cant even imagine why i thought was a good idea.  My one saving grace was that i did alot of walking which i think saved me from a huge crash.  I will admit i have been in an extreme depression as i have mentioned before and hopefully i can find my way out of it.  Recently I was made Gold's Gym spotlight member which was a wicked honor for me.  It has brought alot of attention to the Road and i now realize that my efforts have to double.  It really hit me when I was at Zumba on Tuesday night a lady came up to me after class and said she had read this blog and didn't really want to come tonight but after reading it she felt she really had no excuse.  It kinda choked me up a little to tell the truth.  I started this project to help inspire other but when you actually hear that it is working it kinda takes your breathe away.  Now for the real point of this blog now that we are all caught up.  I know as much as the next person that walking on a treadmill or an elliptical can be boring as shit.  Lets be honest unless there something in front of you worth looking (sorry I'm a guy) at its really not that much fun.  Sometimes you got to find other things to do.  Jon and I recently decided on a nice day to take an alternative adventure.  We went with:  Fat Guys in History........ Boston is a beautiful city full of history and character.  There is an awesome walk through the city called the freedom trail.  Its not a very far walk about 2.5 miles but its a good one and it was kinda fun.

 Both Jon and I enjoying history we thought it be a fun chance to see a little and get some exercise.  The trail starts in the Boston common where they actually have dudes dressed as red coats and patriots giving guided tours.  Obviously being more stubborn we decided to go about it ourselves and make things up as we went.  We started our adventure at the Free Mason Grand lodge near the common which is a truly beautiful building

After a great tour of the building we started off back through the common following the red brick trail that marks out the path.  the path goes through the common past the state house and makes its way to the north meeting house.  from there we eventually made our way to Fanual hall.  Fanual hall is an exciting place filled with shops, restaurants, and even street performers.  We got to enjoy some Break dancing by this one group of guys it was pretty entertaining.  We stopped for lunch at cheers.  Not the original cheers but the one at Fanual Hall.

Lunch is always interesting when we go out because

Jon and I will look at the menu and decide what the

best options are.  At a restaurant usually involves chicken and some sort of salad.  After lunch we did some shopping ironically buying matching Harley Davidson t shirts.  After leaving Fanual Hall and joking with the bike riding cab guys if they could pull both of us in a cab the trail goes past the Holocaust memorial and works its way to the north end.  The North End is a fat guys death trap.  Otherwise called little Italy, it is filled with Italian Bistros, Restaurants, and pastry shops.  It is also where the home of Paul Revere is.  I have cut out most of my

vices but the one i still allow myself is a nice cigar.  It was in the north end where you can find a fabulous cigar bar called Stanza De Cigaro.  It is a must for two cigar lovers.  After our break smoking some fine cigars the day was growing late and it was time to make our way back to north station.  The train ride home was a refreshing break to a fun filled day which was light cardio and light educational.  Hikes might be my favorite thing to do on nice days anything to get my fat ass outside and keep moving.

Its a mental thing.

I have been really behind on this.  I need to get better and i know i have said that before.  So whats new.  I can say that I'm doing good I'm still losing weight and things are alright in that department.  This weight loss thing is a wicked bitch of a mental battle.  I have more mobility and I'm out with people more but for some reason there is a dark cloud over my head.  Its weird that losing weight kind of scares the shit out of me to be honest.  I have been the fat kid my whole life that's what i know and that's how people know me.  It has been my reason for not being able to do things, for not talking to that girl i liked.  The reality is when the weight is gone then if i fail at something its cause I'm not good enough to do it or if someone doesn't like me its cause of me.  I got to my largest weight because of my need to be accepted and liked, i did the craziest things possible to entertain.  I am the funny fat guy, everyone loves the funny fat guy.  Having lost over 100lbs. the reality is if i keep going what do i have.  I spend alot of time thinking, its weird my need for acceptance yet i have an extreme distrust of new people.  It takes alot for me to let new people close to me and even when i do i always question whether they do truly like me.  I find myself pushing people away and sabotaging relationships.  If they leave now i cant be hurt later.  This last week has been very tough on me.  I find myself teetering on the edge alot.  I find myself crying when I'm alone and it truly scares me.  My one guiding light is that i have not gone back to binging as a way of coping.  Its really hard finding self worth when you have never had any.  3 hours at the gym is easier then the battle that has been raging in my head.  Its almost like i am keep pushing those close to me to a point where they give in and agree that i am worthless.  I know it sounds crazy even reading it myself i think its crazy.  Who would have thought that losing weight would make you deal with demons that you aren't necessarily ready to deal with.  But i keep going finding peace in exercise where i get a temporary release from my mind.  I keep trying and i keep going and eventually i will get over this hump and start enjoying this ride as much as i should.

Summer Time is Party Time

Its been a while since i posted a Blog things get so hectic i sometimes have a hard time finding the time to sit and actually finish one.  Luckily my nutrition guru Alicia sent me some recipes for summer salads.  As i have learned the hard way when you go to party's they are not always healthy person friendly especially as we roll into BBQ season some times it becomes prudent to make sure we take care of ourselves and bring something healthy and good tasting to the parties and BBQ's we attend.  Alicia has provided 3 recipes for Delicious salads for the summer season.  I will get more post out there I just have to stop moving long enough to fill you in on the Adventures that Jonathan and I have been on

Summer Salads by Alicia Joy Moskal, Holistic Health Coach

Summer can be a challenge when it comes to eating healthy. With all the barbeque's, cookouts, and get-togethers it can be a sea of temptation. So instead of throwing all your hard work away every time you see that buffet table, I recommend bringing something healthy and delicious that you can share. As long as you know there is going to be at least one thing there you can enjoy guilt free, you might have an easier time avoiding some of the less healthy foods. These three salads are a few of my personal favorites and are very popular with groups. For more information and recipes visit my website www.sevenlevelscoaching.com

Black Bean Salad

Ingredients

2 cans black beans

1 cup frozen corn

¼ cup diced red bell pepper

¼ cup diced red onion

¼ cup diced scallions

¼ cup diced pineapple

 1 tablespoon chopped Cilantro

Juice of ½ Lime

1 tablespoons Honey

4 tablespoons Apple cider vinegar or red wine vinegar

Pinch of cumin (optional)

Salt and pepper to taste

Directions

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and refrigerate for 1 hour.

Quinoa Salad

Ingredients

 2 cups cooked Quinoa

1 cup chopped Spinach

1 can garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed

Juice of ½  Lemon

¼ cup Feta cheese

½ cup Red grapes halved

¼ cup Olive oil

Salt and pepper to taste

Directions

Combine all ingredients and enjoy

Wild Rice Salad

Ingredients

2 cups cooked Brown rice and wild rice blend

½ cup Dried cranberries

½ cup Walnuts or pecans

¼ cup Scallions

Juice of 1 fresh orange

Zest of orange

1 TB Olive oil

Salt and pepper to taste

Directions

Combine all ingredients and refrigerate for 1 hour

As weather changes so should we

As the weather gets nicer it comes to a point where going to the gym and hitting the treadmill for cardio is just not that fulfilling.  Over the last month i have discovered that while treadmills are great in the winter when it is really cold out walking on them is not really a reflection of how you are gonna do on the outside.  I have a long journey ahead of me so I am always looking for ways to push myself harder but also keep it fun.  Recently I started doing Zumba at the gym.  It is so much fun Latin dancing like a fool.  I'm not gonna lie either I am one of few dudes in the class so that's not bad at all.  Its 45 minutes of constant motion and you do it to the best of your ability.  Besides my new Latin dance craze I find myself doing more walking outside.  I have even decided that if I'm not in a hurry to walk instead of driving places.  My buddy lives about 3 miles from my house I decided to walk to his house for a meeting i was having there instead of driving it was awesome.  I have even began bringing my lazy dog out with me.  Hes pretty sluggish through most of it but i can tell he is starting to really enjoy it.  Walks are great different views different terrain and elevation changes its invigorating.  My ultimate quest would be to get to a point where i can comfortably ride a bike to and from work.  I could walk there but 6:30am starts make that a not very appealing option.  The important thing is i am moving more and more and i have a smile on my face the entire time.

Defeated but not BROKEN

When things are going well in weight loss it is easy to get ahead of yourself.  At least it is for me.  Some times i need to remember that even with the weight loss that i have achieved I still have a long way to go.  I'm not talking about the number on the scale,  I'm not a big lover of scales it becomes an obsession for people and can make you go mad if you don't see the numbers that you want.  I'm more interested in becoming able to achieve task and not be held back by my size.  For to many years my thought process has been can i do this or am i to fat.  Its no way to go through life.  I have had a dream of climbing the 48 peaks in New Hampshire that are 4000' or higher.  In my mind completion of that list would mean freedom from my burden of the "I cant do it" thinking.  When i started this venture in February if you had asked me if i thought i would be climbing a 4000' mountain in May i would have told you that you were fawking nuts.  When i started i could barely make it 15 minutes on a treadmill now i can go for over an hour.  I knew this hike was going to be difficult i had a hard time doing bridal veils falls and it was only 2200' so this one was going to be more intense for sure.

The temperature on the Mountain was a comfortable 65 degrees which is good because i was going to be sweating like a whore in no time at all.  I was fortunate that my long time friend Jess came with me.  She was definitely better company than my dog Brady and she wasn't going to try to pull me down the mountain on the way down.

 Unlike Bridal Veils Falls hike there was no warm up to this hike it was a vertical incline from get go.  The trail climbed up along a brook and was pretty rocky with alot of roots from the beginning.  You had to cross the brook twice neither crossing was easily done there were very few rocks for you to get a footing on.  Jess had her camera ready i think she was waiting for me to fall into the water but i managed to get across.  The climb was pretty steady after the second crossing and became more littered with obstacles.  Large rocks and roots made it very difficult.  We eventually made it to a point where you could go out to the waterville valley ski slope and get a view.

The views up in the White Mountains are unbelievable.  It was at this point the hike became extreme.  The trail went to an incline of 45-60 degrees and the path was all large boulders.

I don't know if the new work out from the night before was catching up to me but I made it about a 1/4 mile from that clearing and I was thinking that i was coming close to the top.  The mountain was getting tough but I'm feeling it was close.  At this point we ran into another set of hikers and they broke the news that the clearing was only the half way mark and i had only gone about a mile and a half.  This trail was going to get alot worse and i had about another mile to go.  We had a weather update from earlier that they were expecting severe weather in the area starting around 4pm including hale.  I had to make a decision,  I didn't have another mile up in me.  My legs were like lead and the trail wasn't going to get any better any time soon.  Plus at the pace i was going we would not be done before the severe weather was expected to start and we did not want to be caught in the storm.  I decided that the wise option was to turn around and head back.

 

We got back to the clearing and decided to walk do the ski slope.  That decision was pretty rough the slope was muddy still my feet got soaked.  I will tell you a great leg work out walk down a steep hill, my legs were on fire when we reached the Mountain Lodge. 

After a quick photo-op with the great smokey the bear we finally made it back to the car.  I was wiped out.  I felt bad i completely passed out on Jess for the majority of the car ride home.  I will tell you i feel pretty defeated right now.  It never feels good to lose the big game, to miss the big shot, to not achieve your goals and expectations.  its a very demoralizing feeling.  I can say i lost this battle, but its a long war. G.K. Chesterton once said “How you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win.”  and that has to be my mind set.  It was an ambitious under taking i attempted and yeah i didn't complete it.  But i am not done fighting. i will go after lower peaks and build my self up to a point where i will defeat that mountain.  You can never quit in life, i dint finish this peak but that just means i got to regroup train more and attack it again.  By the end of this summer i will be up that mountain.  And i will make it my own.  Sure i cant say i finished Mt. Tecumseh but i can say that i started it which is more than i could of said four months ago.  As long as i keep going for it i cant lose.

500 lbs up a mountain

As I keep going on my journey I am always looking for ways to push myself to go further then i have ever gone before.  I have always had a goal of climbing the 48 4000 foot peaks of New Hampshire.  I grew up camping I was a boyscout when i was younger even made it all the way to Eagle Scout.  There is something about nature that has always been in my heart.  Probably the hardest part of being over weight is it took me away from the outdoors.  The thought of going on a hike was never something i would consider in the recent past.  My good friends Jay and Jess are big inspirations for me they recently did a trip to Yosemite and they were showing just how truly beautiful it was.  They said the next time they went i should go with them.  In my heart of hearts I wanted nothing more than that but I knew at my state of being it was an impossibility.  Once Jonathan and I started this journey the goal for me was to able to hike.  This last weekend I did my very first Hike.



 

My Friend Dan was originally supposed to go with me but had to cancel the last minute.  I was not going to let in stop me and decided to go up on my own.  My first hike was to Bridal Veil Falls in Franconia New Hampshire.  About two hours north of where I live.  I decided to take my Dog Brady with me as I have not spent alot walking time with him and I really wanted to change that.  The weather was overcast with a high possibility of rain but i was determined.  The drive up alot of anticipation was building up.  I had been working out since the beginning of February but this was by far going to be the toughest thing I had ever attempted so far.  The trip up was worth it the views were amazing.  The mountains of New Hampshire have to one of the greatest places on the planet.

Once I reached the area the trail was about a half mile from the parking area.  Treadmills are liars, i can walk on a treadmills for hours but 3/4 of mile into the hike my legs were already burning.  The trail was easy at first just a slight steady incline and very smooth. then I hit my first obstacle.

There was about three of these in total on the hike; high enough to not go over them yet low enough you could not duck under easily.  I employed an exercise we had done at the gym one i always hated but hey i worked.  That's right i bear crawled under these trees like a champ.  The trail continued on and I was handling it pretty good.  about a mile in you reach the creek and that's when the trail became pretty rough.  Now it may not be rough for well the old people passing me but hey i thought it was pretty challenging.

I kept thinking to myself that you are far away from the car you cant afford to hurt your self out here you are by your self and if you go down you are on your own.  I kept plugging along my legs were on fire i was dripping wet.  About 1.75 miles into the hike I started hitting some rough vertical inclines.  they were steep and very rocky.  I started thinking that this might be too much for me.  My legs were like rubber and i kept thinking i cant do it.  Amazingly I had cell phone service up there i started calling looking for someone to tell me what to do one way or the other.  I tried Jess, Jonathan, Edmund no one answered on a hope I called my friend Courtney who is on the biggest loser this season and she actually answered.  She yelled at me to not quit and told me she wanted a picture of the waterfall in an hour.  It was what i needed and i pushed on.  Pictures don't do justice to how amazing this place is.


It took me a little over five hours to complete the 5 mile trip.  I just kept pushing and pushing.  As i close in on my first 100 pounds lost I think back if you asked me in January if you thought i would be doing a five mile hike up a mountain to a waterfall I probably would have told you that you were nuts.  I am sore still now as i am writing this.  I am not much of a crier but it was a little emotional for me to think that i am getting my life back that i am not going to an early grave without a fight.  This is just the beginning of this journey.  I have a long way to go and a lot more weight to go but i can take this moment to enjoy this little victory that i had.  I needed some encouragement from a friend but i got it done and i am looking forward to the next challenge in my life.

The Battle wages on

We work hard.  We train, we do the right things and I look and sometimes I don’t see it.  I have lost over seventy pounds and I look in the mirror and I still see a really fat person.  My clothes fit better people comment that I look really good but I still have to convince myself that what I’m doing is working.  I battle constantly with my mind.  Temptations still call to me but I battle on.  I am at full out war with myself and the stakes are very high I just hope I have the fire power to win.  For all the positive people that I interact with there are always some that it seems is there goal to knock you back down.  It is these distracters that have always beaten me in the past.  I have always let someone’s negative comment weigh on me until I except what they say as reality.  It’s really hard for me to do something for myself because I want to do it that my life is worth saving for me and not for other people.  I bust my ass in the gym because I want to be healthy and live a long full life.  Sometimes I got to say pardon my French “Fuck you this is for me” shitty people are always going to be there.  I write this because today I interacted with one of these people, it wasn’t what she said but it was her attitude towards me that really pissed me off.  This lady looked at me like I was a fat piece of garbage and really took a shit on my day.  Instead of letting this lady ruin me I am now even more determined than before.  I want more than ever to overcome this weight for me and well because I also want to give the big one finger salute to the doubters (Hey what can say I can be a little spiteful).  Life is short you really don’t need bad people in it.  For all the people fighting this battle I am with you, I feel your pains and your struggles.  Together we will overcome this epidemic and live today for the rest of our lives.

-Mike